in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
