Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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