i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize