considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
