I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize