I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize