I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
