i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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