You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
