Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
