if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
