The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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