You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
