We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
