look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
