I wanna passion pit in your ass
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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