apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize