is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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