just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We left the knife in your bed.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Randomize