420 ftw
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
where am i from again
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
