Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize