my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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