There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize