like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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