you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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