I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
