Don't you send me to vm
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
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