Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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