I think I died a long time ago.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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