she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
