i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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