You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
