I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
