No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
