Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
