my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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