Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
