It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
