even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize