Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
