the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
