Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
