Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
