i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
