I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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