What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
