This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
