Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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