She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
