Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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