turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
