winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i think i just lost a toe
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
