She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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