dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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