You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
