What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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