i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
