YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
